I probably should at some point, reconcile the difference between what I should do and what I actually do. I'm a smart guy. I know what needs to be done. There's always a list of things to do the length of my arm, and considering the space time continuum issues I've been feeling as I get older, things probably aren't going to slow up any time soon. I know I have to live up to my professional responsibilities, and I have to meet the personal responsibilities that I've laid out for myself as an artist and as a person.
So why can't I get anything done. Why do whole weeks go by in flash and I feel like I have barely made a dent? I know I have a tight schedule, and that I've made certain professional decisions that mean I'm going to be pulled a lot of directions. That's all to be expected. I know things are going to get crazy, and I'm going to get tired, and I'm going to feel emotionally and creatively zapped - but I need to find enough fight to feel like I'm not wasting my chance.
So how do I balance my professional and artistic life? I'm staring down what's probably going to be the most demanding spring of my life and on top of all of that I need to be artistically productive as well. I know this is really going to test my ability to budget and manage time. I suck at that. Really badly. I think to myself that I'll just try my best. Then in the back of my mind, as the geek that I am, I hear Yoda's voice saying, "Do or do not. There is no try." Fuckin' Yoda.