Balance

I probably should at some point, reconcile the difference between what I should do and what I actually do.  I'm a smart guy.  I know what needs to be done.  There's always a list of things to do the length of my arm, and considering the space time continuum issues I've been feeling as I get older, things probably aren't going to slow up any time soon.  I know I have to live up to my professional responsibilities, and I have to meet the personal responsibilities that I've laid out for myself as an artist and as a person.  

So why can't I get anything done.  Why do whole weeks go by in flash and I feel like I have barely made a dent?  I know I have a tight schedule, and that I've made certain professional decisions that mean I'm going to be pulled a lot of directions.  That's all to be expected.  I know things are going to get crazy, and I'm going to get tired, and I'm going to feel emotionally and creatively zapped - but I need to find enough fight to feel like I'm not wasting my chance.

So how do I balance my professional and artistic life?  I'm staring down what's probably going to be the most demanding spring of my life and on top of all of that I need to be artistically productive as well.  I know this is really going to test my ability to budget and manage time.  I suck at that.  Really badly.  I think to myself that I'll just try my best.  Then in the back of my mind, as the geek that I am, I hear Yoda's voice saying, "Do or do not.  There is no try."  Fuckin' Yoda.