Things I Shouldn't Love As Much As I Do:
- Zombies: I know. It's all the rage right now. The un-dead have become a part of the pop culture zeitgeist. And I'm one of them. I love zombies. The pseudo-hipster in me would want it pointed out that I loved zombies way before it entered the mainstream. I have lots of nerdy, creative friends and they have brainwashed me thoroughly. I mean...I put Night of the Living Dead ON STAGE. Seriously. What is wrong with me?
- Star Wars: I know George's $4 Billion universe is flawed. I know his directing has the subtlety of a bull-dozer with the subtitle "BULLDOZING." I know. But I love the galaxy far away. I think I'd put a lightsaber at the top of my "fictitious things I wish I had." A Harry Potter-Style wand would be up there too. (See Below.)
- Women Who Are Mean (To Me): I can't help it. I'm a glutton for punishment, and I like it when girls make me work for their affections. I like being held at arms length. I like being tortured. I'm a moron like that.
- Harry Potter: I'm a grown-ass man and I love Harry Potter (Books not Movies!) It's all because I like a story that I can live inside of for a while. I like the ability to transport to that place. I also love the UK, so that doesn't help either.
- My Jeep: It's only a vehicle. I know that. NO I DON'T! As I typed that I cringed at the deceit. My Jeep is open-air freedom. It's travel. It's adventure. It's love.
- Christmas Trees: It's actually not normal. I like Christmas a normal amount, but Christmas Trees...I love. A lot. I love the lights. The colors. When I was a baby, I would stare at colored lights for long periods of time. When I was small, 2 or 3-years old, I toddled away from my mother in a department store. She found me, carrying on a conversation with a talking Christmas Tree. I call the weekend after Thanksgiving "Tree Weekend."